Rachelavotti
by PoppyDestiny
Summary: Rachel and Pavarotti are talking about life, on msn, which seems strange seeing as Pavarotti is dead...


Pavarotti says

tweet tweet rachel.

Rachel says

_**Pavarotti? Kurt told me about you, didn't you die?**_

Pavarotti says

nope, I flew off around Dalton for a while, nearly got caught by Logan the other day though, just like last time... Dwight's given up on catching me... tweet tweet... off to find Kurt

Rachel says

_**Logan? Oh! I remember him, he has a good voice, not as impressive as mine I might add.**_

Pavarotti says

tweet. Rachel, honestly, Reed is a much better singer than you and Logan is probably your type. Gay and way too good for you.

Rachel says

_**What? I'm sorry, I can't believe that. My voice reaches high and low notes perfectly! I don't believe that anyone, let alone a boy would be a better singer than me. And I don't need a guy! I have my talent.**_

Pavarotti says

Good thing you don't need a guy, no guy would ever like you, well maybe Finn but I mean how broken does a guy need to be to like someone like you... tweet

Rachel says

_**Finn is just a little confused at the moment, he hasn't realised that he is desperately in love with me which is why he's fawning after Quinn. And I'm not going to let a bird get me down! Barbra wouldn't!**_

Pavarotti says

Good for you Rachel, to be honest, I've been a bit down lately, when I finally get out my cage and run after Kurt, people are falling over themselves to stop me, I mean, he's all i've ever wanted, someone who shares my love for mirrors and shiny objects... tweet

Rachel says

_**He's a human, you're a bird, it wouldn't work out. Besides he is in love with Blaine and you can't come between that.**_

_**Although me and Finn saw Kurt outside a Motel with Sam...**_

Pavarotti says

Kurt looks like a massive blackbird sometimes with all of his feathers, and he sung Blackbird which really moved me, you know? and I know he loves Blaine, but it could work, I dont need to be with him, i'm happy just being his bird, and Sam is definately gay, definately dyes his hair too... tweet

Rachel says

_**But wait, I don't understand, they buried you underground, how did you escape?**_

_**And yes, well, we all knew Sam was gay, but doesn't that make seeing Kurt with him even more threatening to Blaine and Kurt's relationship?**_

Pavarotti says

Ha! You thought that was me? I mean yes, maybe it looked like me, but the Tweedles know the truth, I never died, just fainted, and they took me to their room when Kurt was singing and replaced me with a pingpong ball with yellow feathers. I just wanted to hear Kurt sing.

Yes, he is a bit threatening, but love is love and i've seen the way those two look at each other, so much affection, and they

look like they're in it for the long haul, Tweet

Rachel says

_**Well, that may be but i'm not going to take any chances, Finn and I are going to confront Kurt and get the truth out of him!**_

Pavarotti says

Please don't! That'll only lead to an arguement and if Blaine finds out then he and Kurt will break up and I can't handle that, i'd want to comfort him but if I gave him a hug, he'd crush me. Not only crush me but my hopes and dreams of us.

Rachel says

_**But we need to get the truth! I could confront Sam instead, that may be safer!**_

Pavarotti says

Maybe that would be safer, but if Karofsky finds out that Sam is gay, then maybe the bullying would stop for Kurt, so i'd say its a good idea

Rachel says

_**I just don't want Blaine to get hurt, as little time as I have known him we have still become great friends after that date we went on.**_

Pavarotti says

I heard Kurt talking about you to Reed and to be honest he's really greatful for confurming that Blaine is gay, because if you hadn't then poor Kurt! tweet

Rachel says

_**I feel like i've boosted Blaine's and Kurt's relationship, it's only natural I am pretty impressive at getting two people in a relationship! Besides my signing that is my other talent!**_

Pavarotti says

Shame your nose is too big, noone will ever love you, maybe Finn but come on, FINN?

Rachel says

_**Finn and I will make beautiful children, he has a good build and whatever you say about my nose will not phase me! I have accepted that my nose is slightly large but it's what makes me unique.**_

Pavarotti says

Maybe you would have alright children, but imagine the blackbird-canary babies that Kurt and I would have. Adorable

Rachel says

_**...he isn't a bird**_

Pavarotti says

When he sings, it send shivers down my feathers, and his eyes shine like jewels, he's constantly wearing feathers and he has a badge with me on, he sings to me, says I inspire him, what was I meant to think this was nothing?

Rachel says

_**Well as much as I admire your love for Kurt's vocal range, i'm afraid he doesn't swing your way.**_

Pavarotti says

Beastiality? Of course he does. tweet

He loves me, and Blaine, look at those eyebrows, he's like a puppy. Definately hope there.

Rachel says

_**He loves you as a pet.**_

Pavarotti says

He's like a kitten. A very cute kitten. Kittens like birds. KURT LIKES ME.

Rachel says

_**Kitten's like to kill birds.**_

Pavarotti says

Kill them with kisses in mine and Kurts case.

Rachel says

_**I don't even want to think about that, i'm sorry. By the way how are you typing?**_

_**And how did you get my email?**_

Pavarotti says

I'm using twitter

Rachel says

_**But how can you type? With wings?**_

Pavarotti says

My god Rachel, we have toes you know.

Look, be right back, Reed's about to feed me and bring me a new mirror...

Rachel says

_**Oh right, yes, of course.**_

_**I guess we will talk later...have fun...feeding? (If this is Puck playing a trick on me, I swear)**_

Pavarotti says

Its not Puck, tweet, don't worry, talk later Bird brains

Rachel said (18:08)

_**Okay, we'll speak later I guess.**_

_**I need to practice my singing anyway**_

Pavarotti says

tweet

Rachel says

_**Oh I see you're back again, was the feeding good?**_

Pavarotti says

Average, Reed's mum sent some special treats over for me, so that's good at least

Rachel says

_**oh right well that's always nice...**_

Pavarotti says

Yeah, she loves me

Rachel says

_**Everyone seems to love you**_

Pavarotti says

Yep tweet

Rachel says

_**I've been thinking, Pav, is it okay to call you Pav? Anyway, you and I have the best talent around here, just think! If we did a duet together, we can rule glee club!**_

Pavarotti says

I guess so, if you must... and well, its not usual for a bird-human duet, but i'll do it on one condition...

Rachel says

_**What is that?**_

Pavarotti says

You help make Kurt love me. Tweet

Rachel says

_**I can't do that...i'm on team Klaine!**_

_**And Finn would hate me...**_

Pavarotti says

But, team Kurtarotti is so much better.

Who cares about Finn? He's in love with Quinn and you, he honestly cant love you that much

Rachel says

_**He's simply confused at the moment, he'll come round.**_

_**And Blaine is dapper and handsome, he is perfect for Kurt.**_

Pavarotti says

I agree that he is perfect for Kurt! Not denying it, but Kurt could do with a bird/bit on the side.

Rachel says

_**But that would ruin their relationship, Blaine wants Kurt all to himself**_

Pavarotti says

Fine. I'll just throw myself out of a window then

Rachel says

_**Why can't you find a lady-bird friend?**_

Pavarotti says

Because i'm gay. I LOVE KURT. what don't you get,

Rachel says

_**A guy-bird friend!**_

_**You can find a bird who reminds you of Kurt!**_

Pavarotti says

It'd have to be a beautiful blackbird but they never like me

Rachel says

_**I will help you find one!**_

Pavarotti says

I don't think you'll be able to, but try by all means, tweet

Rachel says

_**I will! Call me Rachel, the love doctor!**_

Pavarotti says

I'd rather not...


End file.
